darkest hour.

In the nights when it feels like the longest and coldest, I think of how I can win over loneliness. I think of why there are chills in my bones even as I am wrapped by bandages. I think of how I can cut off the screams inside my lungs as heaves of wind escape them. I think of when I can finally be as joyful as the dancing cactus under the scorching sun. I think of possible scenarios that I know only too well will never happen. I play and replay and regret them. And as the images fade, I curse heavily under the unheard breath of despair; banging my head against the invisible air.